Thrift Tip : Don't Skip the Men's Section

I’ve mentioned this before & I’ll say it again:

Do not pass up the men’s button-downs in the thrift store ladies! 

They are high quality & low cost and they come in so many fun colors and patterns. 

This peachy dream was $8 and is Brooks Brothers. These will run you anywhere from $88-$96 brand new. 100% cotton, so light and soft. It’s perfection.

If you are in New Jersey, one of my favorite thrift stores is 2nd Ave Thrift Store in Hamilton, NJ.

Happy Thrifting!

Old Navy Try-On

I recently used my Super Cash from Old Navy to get a few summer pieces. I have fallen in love with gingham for summer and these pieces hit it out of the park for me.

In the first look, I’m wearing a linen-blend gingham skort. It has a tie at the waist and an elastic waist in the back. I’m wearing my usual size medium so I say this runs TTS. The inseam is 4” so it’s a perfect length and not too short. I can already tell this will be a favorite piece this summer. The gingham print is in navy and white so it will go with many different tops. The fabric is lightweight making it perfect for hot days.

In the second look, I’m wearing a linen-blend gingham top and olive green utility shorts. Both TTS. I’m wearing a large in the top and I need a size down but it’s not available so I’ll have to check the store. The shorts are medium and they are looser but I also think this is the style. The inseam is 4” which is perfect! I love the tie at the waist so if I have any weight fluctuations I can easily make it looser or tighter.

In the third look, I’m wearing the skort and the vintage tee. The tee is TTS but if you want a more oversized look, I suggest sizing up. It is a boxier style tee which I love! The quality is excellent. It’s a thicker cotton so it’s not sheer at all. This tee comes in 14 different colors and is such a wonderful basic!

Which is your favorite look?

Want to shop these outfits? Links are HERE!

How to Make an Old Dress Feel New

You know the feeling when you wear an old favorite and you dress it up with newer accessories? How it suddenly feels fresh again?

That’s this dress for me. I got it in 2018 from Old Navy. It was one of my first clothing purchases after the birth of my daughter. I wore it when we closed on this house, baby showers, and again when I got pregnant with my 2nd daughter and it was so hot I didn’t want to wear pants that summer.

It’s soft & comfortable. I love the print. I love the high square neckline. And even though I haven’t worn it in a while, it still makes me feel good to put it on. 

That’s why it doesn’t really matter if something is old or “out of style”.  If you love it, it’s always going to feel like home. 

Madewell Try-On

Over Memorial Day, Madewell had a sale and I snagged some of the pieces I had been eyeing for a while. I was most excited about the yellow sweater vest. It's true to my spring colors, a close match to “corn yellow” for my House Of Colour ladies. The knit is a thick cotton so if you’re looking for something lighter for summer, this is not it. It will be great on cooler evenings and in the spring layered with a simple long-sleeve or tee.

I wanted a straw hat for those beach days here on the shore and loved this darling bucket hat. It brought me back to the 90s when these hats were all the rage - mine was pink with a flower and I didn’t fully appreciate it then. I love that I can curl up the brim and wear it down too for more sun coverage. It’s very flexible so I think it would pack well if you have any trips planned. Madewell was also incredibly thoughtful and gave us two size options for this hat - a small/medium and a medium/large.

This red crochet bag is one of my favorites! I had been wanting a red bag and I also had been wanting a crochet bag so with the two combined it was a no-brainer. It’s the perfect bag for the summer and gives you plenty of room to carry snacks to the park - I see you mama!

Lastly, I got this short-sleeved denim jacket. I love how unique this piece is and when I can’t wear a full-sleeved denim jacket, I love that I can grab this one. If you haven’t tried Madewell before, you will love their denim. It’s so soft and broken that it will become a favorite.

What is your favorite?

All outfits are linked HERE.

When Your Career takes a Backseat to Motherhood: Life as a Stay-At-Home Mom

Written for my friend & fellow blogger at www.mommasaurus.com

My first job was in high school at a pizza place. I was 16. Then in college I would take the school year off to focus on school and work during the summer. I worked for the City of Southfield’s Parks and Rec Department, which I loved! I moved on to two summer internships with Detroit public relations agencies. My senior year, both of my parents got laid off from work when the economy tanked, and I decided to take a job at the university cafeteria to make some extra cash. 

After college, I worked as a receptionist for Douglas J. Aveda Institute. It was there that I decided to go back to school and get my cosmetology license. I went to school during the day and came downstairs to staff the reception desk in the evening. I was working 14+ hours a day on my feet. It was my hardest and probably most rewarding experience. I knew what it was like to bust my butt and work hard to succeed. And friends, let me tell you, cosmetology school is no walk in the park. It is tough stuff. You learn biology, chemistry, how to perform hair, nail, and — if you decide to cross-train — esthiology services, and the rules and regulations of the business. It was worth it and SO much fun. 

I stayed in the hair industry up until our move to the East Coast in 2015. After working for a truly amazing boss at a salon that I still consider my home, I decided to leave the beauty biz behind and try something new. 

I found a job at Global Planners Inc, a corporate event-planning company in New Jersey, and really clicked with the women who worked with me. I got the opportunity to travel around the world (Paris included!), attend so many different conferences, and work with some amazing people. I absolutely loved the travel piece of my job. It felt like a nice switch-up from everyday office life. After being in the beauty industry, I am NOT a desk person at all. I like working with my hands and keeping active throughout my day, so this was very different for me. But the consistent schedule and weekends off (outside of travel) worked well for me and Anton. 

I’ve always loved to work. I’ve never been scared to try new things, step out of my comfort zone, and get my hands dirty. I’ve learned so much from the mish-mash of jobs that have contributed to my successes in customer service and with people. 

Fast forward to now. I’m a stay-at-home mom. Full-time. 365 days a year. 24/7. Have you ever seen that meme: I don’t have a 9-5, I have a when I get up to when I go to bed? That’s mom life. And not just a stay-at-home mom. Hell, that’s all moms! We are the ones that get up before the sun and are the last to go to sleep, making sure our families are taken care of. (And yes, Karen, I realize dads do this, too.) But probably 95% of the time, it’s mom.

This shift was an ADJUSTMENT for me. And it still is, friends! I kind of touched upon this in my last article about my postpartum depression. I love to work. It gives me purpose and makes me feel like I’m contributing, not just to my family, but to society. 

Having a baby is a major life upheaval, but making the decision to stay home and leave your old working self behind is a whole new change. It’s like starting a new job where your boss screams and cries at you, but doesn’t have any idea what she wants. (Actually that sounds like some adult bosses too.) And for you working moms, you are taking on two jobs for the price of one and trying to balance your work and home life. I’ve often said this before to one of my girlfriends who works about an hour from home and has a baby girl, you are super mom because I don’t know how you do it. 

But I digress. I’m focusing on my SAHMs right now because that is the life I know and can talk about firsthand.

At first, I had a hard time finding myself. I have always associated myself with my work. Raise your hand if that’s you, mama. So this felt like I was taking on a new identity — and I mean you kind of are as a new mom, right? We shed our old life and create a new one. One with messy floors, no sleeping in on Saturday, 3 a.m. ragers of a new kind and lots of coffee and dry shampoo. Amma right?!

I think as a SAHM you just have to adjust to your new normal. There isn’t a schedule (unless you want one, of course.) For me, I never went by a schedule, except for bedtime. That was a rigid routine and has been since Day 1. I think that helped with Vera’s sleeping habits, too. For me, the lack of a schedule was difficult. I’m a creature of habit and like to have an idea of what’s going to be happening that day. But my main focus was trying to figure V out. When she was sleepy, she’d nap. When she was hungry, she’d eat. When she wanted to play, we’d play. My days were filled with all the same things, day after day, and it felt SO boring. Not to mention, my MIL was staying with us at the time and she and Anton were sometimes the only people I saw. That was the worst.

I’m a very social person. I love meeting people and talking and being out and about. With a new baby in the dead of winter, that just wasn’t happening. I know this is what added to my PPD as well. 

My saving grace was meeting the women in my moms group. Other SAHMs like me who wanted to get the hell out of the house and go to playgroups with our kids, classes, lunch, mall walks, literally ANYTHING that would get us connected with other adults. I’d say as a SAHM, you have to have a group of women that you can turn to. They are your buoys in the waters of motherhood. Keeping you afloat and keeping you sane. 

My other saving grace? My blog. I told you, I like to work and I have a busy mind. This is the perfect outlet for me to channel my energy. I’m not the perfect housewife. I hate cleaning (but I love a clean house), I do love to cook but not every night, and I hate folding laundry. I will find a million other things to do before cleaning and laundry.

The blog also connects me with other women and moms around the world and I love that about this new adventure. I love talking to other women who are going through the same things and can resonate with the things I talk about. Most of all, I like feeling like I can help other women like me and share the things I’ve gone through or am going through. The blog is my place to share and be open.

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice to be at home, but then I realize that not every mom has this opportunity. I am grateful that I even have the choice. I am grateful that I get to see V do all the silly and extraordinary things she does. I’m grateful that I get to explore other interests for myself and keep growing. The job market will be there when I decide to return to it. But this stuff … I’ll never get to relive these moments. They are priceless.

More Than a Number

There’s always an ongoing discussion of weight loss and dieting among women. It’s just one of those things that we are constantly trying to work on and balance in our demanding lives. Especially moms.

I saw a photo on Instagram the other day that really got me thinking of the way I think about myself and my body.

Pictured was a bunch of scales and instead of numbers it provided positive self-talk like: “You’re a kind and loyal friend”, “You are worthy”, “Your smile lights up any room you’re in”, etc.

Way too often after we give birth, we are so concerned about losing the baby weight. Getting back to our pre-baby bodies. Trust me, I was one of those people. I remember when I got the go-ahead from my doctor and I was trying to hit the gym that day.

First of all, I didn’t expect that my body would feel completely different. I was having incontinence issues when I ran, my breasts were sore from breast feeding. I felt like a train wreck. And instead of saying to myself, “Hey, you just had a baby 6 weeks ago and you’re not getting any sleep,” I was UPSET with myself. 

Of course, I didn’t want to try something softer like yoga. (Which I seriously should have — hello, crazy lady!) I was trying to get back to the person I was before V. I wanted to run 4 miles and do an intense weight-lifting routine. I wanted to do it all. Was I listening to my body when it was saying to rest? Nope. I saw moms do this on social media all the time. I could totally do this too. 

The thing is, they are not me. What works for one person is not going to work for you. You have to listen to your body and show yourself some grace. If I had the ability to go back and talk to myself postpartum, I’d tell her to slow down, to not put so much pressure on herself to be perfect. And one more time, to slow the hell down. 

And you know what? This isn’t only for women who just had a baby. This message is for all of us. 

Our worth is NOT measured by a number on the scale. Repeat that to yourself. Daily. There is so much more to you and life than that number. And frankly, I think it’s all bullshit anyway. At my fittest, I was 150. Right now, I’m 150 and a little squishier. 

I am by no means saying to let yourself go and not lead a healthy lifestyle. I’m just saying that your weight does not correlate to happiness. If you are one of those people who is punishing yourself at the gym for having a slice of cake at a friend’s birthday or having a margarita night with your girlfriends, maybe it’s time to check-in with yourself. 

Trust me, I have battled with this voice and it’s just not healthy. There is a difference between motivation and being cruel to yourself. Love your body and it will love you back. Rest when it needs rest, fuel it when it needs food, nourish your mind with knowledge and positive affirmations to keep your head from spinning those webs of self-doubt and self-loathing. 

My favorite workouts these days consist of walking, daily dance parties with V, running with my dogs, and yoga. I may not be at my fittest. But I am most certainly at my happiest, and that is what is most important to me. I want V to see that happiness and confidence in her mom so that she will have the same care and respect for herself. 

So this week I challenge you to show your mind and body some love. Do something that makes you feel good and makes you smile. If it’s enjoying some of this beautiful weather and going for a run, go for it. If you need a Netflix binge day on your couch, awesome. If you’ve got a book you’ve been wanting to dive into but haven’t, pick it up. Go with what feels good and feeds your soul. Life is too short to be unhappy with a number. Your achievements, your kindness, your inner strength and beauty is where it’s at, friends. That’s the gold right there. 

Foodie Hotspot: Aarzu Modern Indian Bistro

When I was probably 8 years old, I remember going to the “Arts, Beats, and Eats” festival back in Michigan with my mom. Metro-Detroiters will remember back in the day when it used to be in Pontiac. It’s now moved to my former hometown, Royal Oak. 

Like a lot of summer festivals, this had local artists, music, and a ton of food from local restaurants (hence the name, right?). 

My mom went over to one of the booths to get some food. It was for a local Indian restaurant, Priya in Troy, MI. She had no idea her 8-year-old daughter was about to devour all of her chana masala. This is when my love affair with Indian food began. 

To me, this cuisine has it all: the spices, the flavor, the color, the aroma! It really just lights up my tastebuds. 

Since moving to New Jersey, Anton and I hadn’t found a spot that we really LOVED yet. One of his good friends recommended that we try Aarzu in downtown Freehold, NJ, especially for their lunch buffet. 

We had been talking about going for weeks and finally decided to go for it today on Anton’s day off. 

Immediately when I walked in I knew this place had to be good. The smell permeating the air was amazing. My mouth is watering still thinking about it. (I know, I’m a foodie freak.)

The ambiance was lovely — very trendy decor with rich jewel tones catching the eye from the velvet chairs and curtains. The half-moon booths looked cozy for larger parties and the lighting was cheerful and friendly as was the staff.

When we sat down, we were offered a wine list as well as all of the non-alcoholic beverages. Anton and I went with non-alcoholic because they just sounded amazing. He got the Sangria and I got the Mango Moscow Mule and coffee (surprise, surprise!)

The drinks were so fresh and had so much flavor. The mule was tropical and refreshing and the sangria was tart and fruity. The coffee was delightful, too. I especially loved the presentation. It came in a beautiful teal teapot with a cup and saucer and a small pitcher of cream.

Aarzu offers a lunch menu with the usual appetizers, soups/salads, entrée, etc. Or you can choose from two buffet options - the Bottomless Veg Thali or Bottomless Non Veg Thali. I chose the vegetarian option and Anton went with the latter. 

First off, this is not your typical buffet experience, which I thought was fabulous. They bring out these beautiful metal plates and then they bring out your food served in little bowls in a half-moon shaped tray so that your plate can fit inside and you can plate your food however you like. They also provide lemon, red onion, and a pickled veggie (that I didn’t catch the name of) so you can add different flavoring to your food as well — I thought this was a nice touch.

In the buffet you receive “an unlimited helping of the chef’s selection of two veg curries (or non veg curries) of the day, appetizer, raita, lentil, rice, bread & dessert.” I honestly have a difficult time naming my favorites because everything was delicious, but I really loved the vegetarian take on butter chicken because that is a favorite of mine. This one was made with Paneer (an Indian farmer cheese). It was melt in your mouth perfection. 

I wasn’t the only one enjoying every bite. Anton was loving everything about his dishes as well. There was a potato and pepper dish that was so flavorful and full of spice, I wish I could cook this stuff at home. Aarzu, if your chef ever has a cooking class, please let me know, I will be the first to sign up!

We finished off our meal with the dessert — Gulab Jamun. Which are basically little deep fried donuts made of dried milk and dipped in a syrup. Um, hello! My jeans were about to bust open at the table just looking at them, but you bet I ate them and had several more bites of the other dishes. 

If you want more, your waiter is more than happy to bring you over another round of your favorites or all of them like Anton and I did. What can I say, we love to eat! I especially appreciated the level of service brought to Aarzu’s “buffet” experience.

I should also mention that their lunch buffet is only available Tuesday-Friday. And you cannot beat $11.95 for this level of service, atmosphere and quality of food. At least not in my book.

So if you are ever near Freehold, NJ and you’re a lover of Indian grub like me, please pop in and give it a whirl. Your tastebuds will thank me for it, even though your jeans won’t. 

A Trip to Paradise: Punta Cana

I was planning to post while I was on vacation but realized that that would defeat the purpose of logging off and spending time connecting with Anton. 

So here we are! We made it back from Punta Cana in one piece after a crazy-long flight home. We were delayed about an hour and a half due to bathroom issues (and no one wants that do they?) We were surrounded by children, one who was not feeling well and screamed and cried through the beginning of the flight and had a few accidents. I wanted to reach over and tell the mom she was a rock star and she was doing a great job. ( I should have!) Flying with littles is no easy task. I haven’t flown with Vera yet and it terrifies me.

Besides the flight we had a wonderful time. It was so nice to relax and just focus on each other for a couple days. We needed that reboot. 

I just wanted to briefly give a review of our stay with you. As you might have seen from my Instagram stories we attempted to give you a good idea of Punta Cana and the resort but I’m more of a words gal.

We booked through Expedia and found a good deal but if you’re a Groupon fan, they have tons of deals for all-inclusive resorts. We stayed at The Grand Bahia Principe Aquamarine Resort about a 25 minute drive from the airport so it wasn’t far. If you are resort frequent flyers none of this stuff will really surprise you or if you have been to Punta Cana before you’ll know what I’m talking about.

First off, the resort is pretty secluded. There really isn’t much to see outside of it unless you go to another resort or hotel. This kind of bummed us out because we love to check out new restaurants. We are big foodies!

When we got our room and got somewhat situated we wanted to make reservations for the restaurants inside the resort. Unfortunately for us, everything was BOOKED. They do offer a buffet if you don’t have reservations. The buffet was pretty good and they had a lot of options to feed a large group of people but we were disappointed they didn’t have more authentic Dominican food. Anton’s favorite from the buffet? Banana milkshakes. Mine? All the sweet treats. They would also have a cocktail of the day which was fun. In the mornings they would have mimosas and bloody mary’s and in the evening they would have margaritas or wine. 

Since we didn’t get reservations at any of the restaurants, we decided to sign up for their romantic dinner package by the pool on Friday night. This was super nice! They decorated the table and had roses and bottles of wine along with a personalized menu for us. Since we didn’t have a honeymoon, I thought this was really special and we enjoyed being pampered.

Now our main focus of this vacation was to relax and just enjoy time together. We didn’t want to do any crazy activities like zip lining or parasailing (but they do offer these!). We spent the majority of our time in the spa, by the pool or down by the beach. 

The spa was really wonderful. Staff was friendly and accommodating and everything was very clean. On Friday we had a traditional 50 minute relaxation massage. I think this was our favorite. Super simple and the masseuse got the nasty knots out of my shoulders from carrying around Vera all the time. On Saturday we did a hot stone massage and that was lovely too but there were times when the stones were just too hot for me.

Down by the pool they have a ton of activities and games that you can participate in. It was fun watching people doing these silly challenges about three margaritas deep. 

My pet peeve about the pool was that people would grab their chairs in the morning and put their towels down and then leave for several hours to do something else and then decide to come back at like 4 o’clock. So it was hard to find a seat available. Be sure to grab your chair early if you want to lay by the pool all day! Now my friends told me this was totally a resort thing so I wasn’t aware of it but next time we will be prepared. Also, the same thing goes for laying oceanside- claim your spot ASAP, especially if you want a little tiki hut and table.

In the evening the resort had shows like a live band or singer that would perform. They also had karaoke nights. Lucky for us this was during our romantic dinner by the pool and we had some laughs. After all that wine they served us I was ready to join them!

All in all I’d give it 4 stars. We enjoyed our stay and picked up a few tips for our next trip! Not to mention having 4 days to just relax and watch a movie uninterrupted is absolutely priceless.

Rockin' Hair is a Piece O' Cake

In my years of styling my own hair and others I have come to appreciate the “less is more” approach. As a mom, you know that your time is limited and getting dressed is a challenge, let alone doing your hair and makeup. Now that takes time to master. 

I typically will do all this when Vera finally goes down for a nap. I would say that 80% of the time I am not put together and that meme floating around on the internet: “I only have two looks: trophy wife or like I live under a bridge and demand riddles for people to cross it” totally applies. 

But when I do get it together, I feel pretty damn good.There’s just something about a little makeup and a styled do that makes you feel ready to conquer the world. Or wait, is that just me? 

My go-to hair products these days are by Oribe. When I was working in the salon, we carried this line and its pretty darn amazing. Not to mention its signature smell is glorious. 

First up is Oribe’s Supershine Moisturizing Cream. It’s like a nice drink of water for your hair. Apply to damp hair to help tame frizz and add shine. This also acts as a heat protectant for all of you heat-styling fanatics like me. Free from parabens or sodium chloride, it’s also color- and keratin treatment-safe. For you fine-hair beauties, Oribe also makes a Supershine Light. Same benefits, just not as heavy.

For styling, I just bought the 1 1/4” curling iron by Kristin Ess from Target. If you don’t know who she is, check her out on Instagram. She does hair for celebs like Lauren Conrad, Lucy Hale and Jenna Dewan. Her waves and lobs make me swoon. Not to mention her copper hair color is what dreams are made of. BUT, I digress. 

This curling iron is the bee’s knees. It has four heat settings up to 425ºF AND will auto-shut off so when your little one is trying to eat dog food, you can run to the rescue and not worry about setting your hand towels on fire. 

I love the 1 1/4” barrel. It gives me those amazing loose waves that look gorgeous and effortless. Like I said, I love the “less is more” look. With waves like this you don’t need to spend all this time making sure each curl is perfect. Spend less time on the bottom layers and more on the top.

My two favorite styling products are also by Oribe. I use the Après Beach Wave and Shine Spray. I am IN LOVE with this stuff. I lift up large sections and spray up into my hair. It provides moisture, shine and gives you that dreamy beach-y texture. For all you lovers of tousled, messy waves, this is for you, girl.

Next up is the Matte Waves Texture Lotion. I always use this last because it has a little more hold, but it also gives your hair amazing texture and “pieciness.” I apply a penny-size amount to my hands and scrunch it in. I find that I usually don’t need a hairspray after this beauty.

If you have any questions about these products, holler at me or check out any of the links I’ve included. They have great “how-to” videos for each of their products. 

So embrace your inner goddess and happy styling! 

Recipe: Baked Sweet Potato with Garam Masala Chickpeas

All right folks, it’s time to lighten the mood a bit around here. My last few posts have been very introspective and a little mushy.

Let’s get back to one of my favorite things. FOOD.

I am a lover of international food. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy your traditional American fare, too, like French fries, mac and cheese and in my pre-vegetarian days, cheeseburgers and chicken wings. But there is something so savory about Indian spices that I just can’t pass up. And of course the staple in our household? Russian cuisine. There really isn’t anything I’ll pass up (except now being a vegetarian, this has shaken the house up a bit.)

So I’m sorry to disappoint you, but you won’t find many casserole recipes here.

Last night I was searching for some vegan recipes on Pinterest and found this tasty one from Nadia’s Healthy Kitchen: Baked Sweet Potato with Garam Masala Chickpeas.

Done deal. I love the flavor of Garam Masala, huge fan of sweet and savory, and I’m pretty much turning into a chickpea already in my new vegetarian lifestyle.

So here it is.

Ingredients:

• 1 1/4 cups (249g) cooked chickpeas

• 2 medium sweet potatoes

• 1/2 tsp. turmeric

• 1 tsp. cumin

• 1 tsp. coriander

• 2 tsp. garam masala

• 1 tsp. curry powder

• Juice of 1 lemon

• 2 garlic cloves, minced

• 1/2 medium onion

• 1-inch piece of fresh ginger

• Salt & pepper to taste

Instructions:

1. Preheat your oven to 200ºC/400ºF

2. Cut the sweet potatoes in half lengthways.

3. Prick the potatoes a few times with a fork and drizzle 1/2 tsp. of olive oil onto each half. Place inside up.

4. Bake for around 30 minutes or until they’re cooked all the way through. 

*Note: My potatoes were pretty thick and they took about 40 minutes to an hour.

5. In the meantime, heat about a tbsp. of coconut oil in a frying pan and add the chopped onion. Sauté for about 5 minutes and then add in the spices. Mix and cook for another minute (I added a little bit of water with the spices to turn them into a paste to make it easier to mix.)

6. Add in the ginger and garlic. Cook for a few seconds then add in the chickpeas along with the fresh lemon juice.

7. Mix until the chickpeas are evenly coated and warmed through.

8. Take the potatoes out of the oven, place on a serving plate and top with the chickpea mixture.

9. Add fresh chopped tomatoes and coriander to decorate. (I added parsley.)

I loved this dish. I thought it was simple and filling and it didn’t involve a lot of cleanup. I got my Indian fix without the takeout and minus a few calories.

Enjoy, friends! 

When Love Needs a Reboot

The last time my husband and I went on a legitimate vacation was for Fourth of July weekend in 2012 to Saugatuck on Lake Michigan. Between medical school and working, there just wasn’t a lot of time to go anywhere, not to mention we were broke.

What about your honeymoon you ask? On June 12, 2015, we said “I do” and loaded up a moving truck on June 16. Just four days after our wedding.

Three years went by and life happened. We had Vera, and adopted two dogs, Riggins and Lyla, and we bought our first house in New Jersey. Anton finished his residency and no sooner had it ended, he started working with a private practice group, diving head first into his new career.

I admire my husband’s ambition, I do. He is so passionate about what he does and genuinely wants to help make the medical field better. This is one of the reasons I love him. But, through our day-to-day grind, it gets harder to reconnect. He works late and when he is home, he’s still working. This is the life of a dedicated and hard-working physician. I knew being his wife was not going to be a walk in the park, but knowing that does not make it any easier.

So we are FINALLY doing it and going on vacation (just the two of us) to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic for four glorious days in the sun.

Now I realize this isn’t a realistic option for everyone. Hell, it wasn’t even a realistic option for us until recently. The important takeaway here is there needs to be time set aside for a couple to reconnect and nourish their relationship.

Even if it’s something as simple as sitting down together for a family meal. Put away all the distractions and devices and dedicate some face-to-face time with each other. I can’t stress enough how important communication is for a relationship. I think that it’s one of the reasons why Anton and I have been able to get through our rocky patches. 

Another option? Have a date night at home. Have someone watch the kids or wait until they are asleep. Order up a pizza (my personal favorite) or create a little snack bar in your kitchen with all of your favorite munchies. Pick a movie or watch “The Office” (yet again) and just enjoy each other’s company while laughing at Dwight. Again, keep the devices off or in another room so they don’t cause a distraction. 

My all time favorite date? Getting out of the house and actually going out. Whether it’s out to a new restaurant, a new city to explore, a concert, etc. This is the kind of stuff that is the spice of life. It switches up the day-to day and gets you excited! Not to mention you get to create some amazing new memories with your sweetheart. 

So if you’ve gotten this far and you’re saying, “Amy, none of these options work for us.” I hear you, sister. It’s nearly impossible for Anton and me to have a sit-down meal together. It’s even harder to have a meal without interruptions. But, the reality is that we keep trying. If the only time of day I get to connect with him is when he’s in the shower before going to work, I’ll sit on the side of the tub and talk to him about his day and what’s going on or something funny Vera did. We keep showing up. Sometimes showing up means having a quick cup of coffee together before work or going to see them on their lunch break for a bite and a brief chat. If there is anything that you can do during your day that brings you two together, I promise you, you’re doing it right. 

Sometimes it’s good to remember that love is not always champagne and chocolates but more like your favorite sweatshirt and pizza; soft, warm and always there when you need it.